May 19, 2008
craptastic craptacular crap
So why haven't I updated my blog lately? I've sure had plenty to type about. I've had a few minutes here and there. I've even had the inclination to write since last time.
I find that sometimes it's harder to see my woes in writing. I am grateful x 100 that I don't live in China and that my kids didn't get squashed in a school building collapse. I'm glad that I don't live in a van like Trevor's friend, homeless Jerry. Now let's get down to the wallowing.
Thursday I got a call from Jake's counselor at school telling me that my son has thoughts of suicide and has come to him for help. As much as I love my son, I have to tell you that I doubt he'd ever harm himself. Most likely what he meant to say is "My mom is making me do all of the assignments I haven't handed in this 9 weeks because I'm failing 2 classes and have D's in another". Most likely he wanted to tell the guy "I might have to give up my car and job because mom's pissed about my grades". Instead he said "I feel like I am letting my mother down and I want to kill myself". I feel like I reacted the way I should have in this case. I took him to snowden to be evaluated and they told me that I should get him a therapist. I've placed several calls to people so I can find a person who will listen to him and then I can drive him over there so he can let them all know just what a piece of shit mom he has. I feel the same way about this that I did about my republican parents taking my democrat grandmothers to vote. Why would you cancel yourself out? I mean, seriously...if I'm so awful, why not just let the little asshole suffer? But you see, no matter how much I try to let Jake be himself and give him a long long long long LONG leash, he keeps doing things that require action on my part. I'm angry about it. I love him, I even like him sometimes. I want him to get his shit straight and one day be a good man. I have to say though, right this very moment, I have my doubts. As we got into the car leaving snowden to go pick up 2 babies from gayle's house so I could pick up 2 more babies and go to the chorus recital for Trevor and Kendall, Jake said to me "wanna go pick up my tux for prom?" He said it just like we'd just been out for a day at the park. He said it as though he hadn't just given me the worst day of my life; as if he had no clue that I couldn't possibly go on if he ever got serious and wanted to end his own life. He so flippantly toys with the emotions of those who care for him. I took him to get the tux. I took him out to dinner and I took him to the chorus concert so he could see his siblings sing. I have managed to raise the most self absorbed, cocky, arrogant, assholish, young man ever. But I haven't raised one who would kill himself. Of this, I'm quite certain. What a proud mother I am.
On the bright side, he had a very shitty time at the prom.
Posted by krystal at 5:31 PM | Comments (3)
March 12, 2008
dead time
At three this morning Tess woke up coughing and fussing. Dan brought her to our room where she coughed and cried and he coughed and they all coughed together til Max woke up and I screamed at Tess and we were just one big happy family.
Jake came home with a new hole in his face. I really don't care because it's not my face.
Tonight Jake has to work and Kendall has play practice.
The winner du jour is Trevor...he has all of his work turned in at school.
I'm so tired that my eyes are crossing and right now there's no end in sight.
We watched No Country For Old Men last night. I'd looked forward to it a lot because I've not heard anything bad about it and I love the cohen brothers. I didn't like it much. I didn't hate it but I was not at all impressed.
This entry was brought to the letters p-i-s-s-e-d o-f-f.
Posted by krystal at 8:21 AM | Comments (0)
October 2, 2007
I miss
-going out without kids
-drinking beer
-wearing normal sized clothing
-being in a good mood
-movies
-not yelling "LEEROY GET DOWN!"
Posted by krystal at 6:19 PM | Comments (0)
September 21, 2007
grounded
For the past few days I've been seeing spots, having headaches and getting a lil dizzy. Dizzy is something I've always dealt with but we were alarmed enough to go see the doc today. I'm fine. My bp is normal at least. The bebe's heartrate is healthy too. I had to see someone who was NOT Kathy, my midwife. She was ok I guess, but Kathy knows me. She knows that I like when it takes an hour to get seen because it gives me time to read books without any kids around. She wasn't there though. The doc who saw me said that she needed to run some tests and blahblahblah and do my glucose test. I said "hold it there sistah, I just ate a bagel and pumpkin flavored cream cheese...I won't pass any stinkin test" to which she replied "you don't have to fast. drink this at 1, come back at 2". Crapity crap crap...this won't be good. Regardless, I'm fine. Dan's making me not drive since that dizzy blind thing scares him.
We'd spend the weekend resting but there's stuff to do. We're heading to Richmond tomorrow for a 6 year old's pirate party ARRR! My niece, Anna, is turning 6. Tess is very excited about the party and is currently in the bathtub talking about it. Then Sunday is Jessica's pampered chef party. I NEEED MOREE THAT'S THE TRUTH. I just have to see if I'll be riding w/ Amy or hauling Dan and Tess up there w/ me or heaven forbid, placing an order online and staying in bed.
Posted by krystal at 7:10 PM | Comments (3)
July 16, 2007
There's a reason I haven't written...
I haven't had anything to say, really. However, if you were to hang out around my house and listen to me bitching and complaining about things, you'd think I've got TONS to say. I guess it's a case of "if you can't say something nice..."
Here are some good/great things:
I got my amnio results and our baby boy is free of chromosome disorders and healthy and may even be due a week earlier than we'd thought.
Dan started his new job today and so far, he likes it.
Lasagne is in the oven cooking.
Everyone's healthy around here.
I got to hang out with Tree and Jason last week and that was long overdue. I vote we do it more often.
Work is busy busy busy but rewarding most days.
****
And here's what I will say that's not so nice. I'm pretty straight-forward and hate people who allude to things rather than facing them...but sometimes it's in your best interest to just shut your yap and not emote about every little burr under your blanket. These are things that are annoying to me this week (like you give a rats ass)...
My ex-husband's wife. I've never liked the way she treats my kids but I try very hard to keep peace with her, especiallly now that Jake stays there. But when it comes to my attention that she's talkin' smack, I'm not really going to sit back and just accept it. The issue has been dealt with, though. For now.
My eldest kid. I love him, but 16 year olds are probably just as self-centered and awful as pregnant women. We're civil to each other. When the hell did I have a "civil" relationship with my own kid? That annoys me.
Those two issues have been dealt with and semi-resolved, so they're not what's making me grit my teeth. I'll still be gritting for a while I think.
***
I ordered more dr. brown's bottles off of ebay yesterday. I don't plan on buying anything much new for the baby, just some boy clothes and t-shirts and probably some bedding more suitable for a little boy. I plan on getting Tessie moved to a toddler bed before we have this baby. I also have huge plans for getting her potty trained. I just really wish, in retrospect, that I hadn't given away all of my baby/maternity stuff. I had about a bajillion onesies and blankets and other stuff that now I'll have to replace. I'll hit up freecycle when the time gets closer though, it shouldn't be too hard.
Posted by krystal at 5:18 PM | Comments (3)
March 6, 2007
...on pottery
As in most things in life, simplicity seems to be the recipe for success.
Ruthanne Tudball 1991
bull.shit.
Pottery class sucks.
Posted by krystal at 7:50 AM | Comments (3)
February 19, 2007
presidentschmesident
I'm not off today even though GEORGE WASHINGTONS BIRTHDAY IS BEING CELEBRATED. George and I were tight. I am sincerely sorry mr.firstpresident. Happy 275th birthday anyway.
My colon cleansing is feeling like a failure. Everyone else doing it is just eliminating all day long but not me. I'm on day 8 now and I've had one poop that was better than normal. I need substance. I feel like I'm 6 months pregnant because all this fiber I'm taking and all this water I'm drinking. Anyone got some stretchy pants I can borrow? Please colon cleanser, please start working soon. I know I'm fulla crap, I just know it.
Posted by krystal at 7:33 AM | Comments (3)
December 12, 2006
You take the good, you take the bad
Yesterday:
Take sick baby to dr. to find out she's got her very first ever ear infection AND croup. good times.
Spend lots of money on drugs and prescriptions that we really don't have.
Drive to Roxbury Mills rather than a real tree farm to buy a tree with money that we really don't have.
Quickly fix dinner, feed baby, check to see that lights work and get tree inside. Dan puts the tree up and puts the lights on and most of em even work.
Jake decides that he'll only hang ornaments which aren't his, causing much wailing and bitching from Trevor and Kendall. Fun fun fun! Dan yells at Kendall for trying to pull this same trick on Trevor. Kendall gets sent to room for talking back. I send Dan down to get her, but her attitude is now sour and we decorate the rest of the tree with an air of shitatude all about. Party on, y'all!
We finally get settled and find our way into pjs at 9pm and manage to watch one tivo'd Without A Trace before falling to sleep exhasuted.
Today:
Tess wakes up at 4somethinggodawfuloclock this morning coughing and crying. (Dan gets up w/ her because mommmy is mean).
Dan notices that the tree has fallen to the corner.
Trevor bitches about the fact that I am forcing him to try on clothes that don't fit because he needs them for his chorus recital and I have 2 days to learn to hem or talk Gayle into doing it for me. Trevor, as always, is the ray of sunshine around our house.
Dan points out that one of our sons has left a nice crescent shaped turd in the toilet in the hallway and refuses to flush it because he didn't do it. Meanwhile, the puppy craps on the rug by the front door.
I ask Dan to help me stand the tree back up and he tells me that there's no water. We fill the water back up and it promptly runs through the HOLE IN THE STAND WHICH HAS APPARENTLY HAPPENED OVERNIGHT. Dan informs me that the floor is soaked and the tree will need to be undecorated, a new slice sawed off of it before putting it into the new stand we're going to have to purchase with the money we really don't have, so we can decorate the motherfucker again tonight.
I leave for work, completely defeated, ready to throw in the towel and just admit that the holidays have defeated me.
Car...filled with gas because Dan took it out last night and filled it as a surprise for me. I love him. He's a good husband and a good dad and I'm lucky to have a great family.
But the tree still sucks and I'm not over it, so please do not remind me of the good things today. I plan on wearing this scowl for just a while longer.
Posted by krystal at 8:05 AM | Comments (4)
October 11, 2006
Suffer
Do you think Eve had PMS or did the big guy add that in when women started wanting to vote and work outside of the home? Every month since I've had Tessie I suffer from about a weeks worth of headaches just before my pyramid comes. I hate my head, it needs to go away. I got her back though, yesterday I took Tess for her shots and went ahead and added on the flu shot for good measure. That'll teach her to break mommy's head.
Jake had all A's and one B on his interrums. He finally decided to go ahead and push my promise of "if you behave and get good grades, I don't care how you look". He now has blue-black hair. I think he looks like a goth scarecrow.
Trevor went to a dance last Friday...with a GIRL. He's been floating around on clouds since then. It's too soon. Jake waited til highschool to like girls enough to talk to them on the phone. NO.FAIR.
Kendall is perfect...as always. That's all I need to say.
Posted by krystal at 10:36 AM | Comments (2)
September 7, 2006
Lunch Lady Land
On my first day at work I explained to the principal that I want to be integrated with the rest of the folks there and work as part of their team. I told her that I expect to pull my share of hall duties, lunch monitoring etc. To this she replied, "I think we have it covered, but thank you so much!". I was sort of relieved because, let's face it, I don't give a fat frog's ass about helping out with housework crap. I just want to work on the puters and dwell on the fact that I'm underpaid.
So the first week of school goes great and then on the second week she comes to me saying "you're going to wish you hadn't offered to help..." This is the part where I find myself spending 2.5 hours each day in the cafateria. I am filling in for the lunch monitor for THREE WEEKS. Her job is to send the kids up to the lunch line, scream at them for not sitting down and then wash off the tables. I have 7 more days of this and then, if I ever find myself not working for the school system (for almost minimum wage) I'll begin telling my sad tales of my tour in lunch lady land. For now, I will let you know that I take back anything I've ever said about Jake and Trevor being bad. They are ANGELS. I have faced the demons, I've given them my best "i'll mess you up" faces and they just stare blankly at me and defy my orders. I won't be broken though. Mark my words.
Posted by krystal at 8:45 AM | Comments (3)
May 3, 2006
Love thy neighbor
Weezer is in an uproar. She's the old lady who lives next door. Apparently my children threw a frisbee and it landed in her yard. Twice. Dan and I were out taking a walk with the girls last night when all hell broke loose. It would seem that my years of telling people off have rubbed off on Trev and he decided to take a verbal wack at weezer. I am so proud.
Today promises to bring more excitement. In the mean time, I think I need to buy more fireworks and some plastic ornamental yard stuff. It's a shame that she's spending her golden years filled with such hate, but if that's how she wants to go, we're willing to do our share to help.
Posted by krystal at 6:47 AM | Comments (1)
February 7, 2006
unlucky
My rat died.
Posted by krystal at 11:58 AM | Comments (3)
December 1, 2005
just as bitchy
The end of pregnancy means the resumption of PMS.
I went to bed feeling pretty aggitated with the state of affairs in my house. Jake has turned into the sulky, sneaky, crabby, jackass kid I hoped he'd never be. He's suffering through the punishment of getting bad grades but he ain't suffering in silence. The 10 minutes he gets on the phone w/ his girlfriend and the 10 minutes online are just not enough for his highness and he's taking it out on me. Guess what though? I didn't get 2 F's on my report card so I don't deserve the punishment. I'm sick to death of him right now. He's sick to death of me too. I guess missing the bus this morning was a way of paying us back for him not getting to have a mohawk or dye his hair green...that's ok, my payback for him is that he now loses his 10 minutes tonight.
I wonder how old he'll have to be before he realizes that until he's 18, I will ALWAYS win.
Posted by krystal at 7:30 AM | Comments (5)