February 10, 2005
Holy hives, batman.
Yesterday Jake broke out in hives. After his most recent report card, my somewhat uneducated guess would be that it's just stupidity oozing out. Either way, I left work to go home w/him. Dan brought him home and stayed. The little kids got home and we were all lazy zombies for the rest of the day. It rocked, we even had apple pie for dinner.
After a very stressful night at Kendall's first gymnastics class, I've decided to enroll her at paragon rather than with her old coach. Kendall was a miserable mess after being IGNORED at her class. The child is patient and kind but she is never to be ignored. I really hope Paragon pays proper attention so we don't have to go through that again.
Trevor went to sleep at 5 last night, sleeping off a foul mood and doing us all a huge favor. I know it's tough being 11 but sometimes it's harder to be around Mr. moodypants. On the bright side, he woke up in a charming mood and didn't fuss about a thing after that.
Dan informs me that Trev and Kendall aren't speaking and will only communicate to each other via him. That's going to be fun when Dan's not around....aaaaaah peace and quiet!
I finished reading Interpreter of Maladies and anxiously await my turn for The Know It All. I've started reading it but decided to wait a bit. I have an afghan to knit and I'd rather finish that first.
(god I sound dowdy)
I'm not though. (dowdy, I mean). In fact, Friday Dan and I are going to have sushi with Tree. See...that's cosmopolitanish. We're going out, like people do.
Posted by krystal at 9:31 AM | Comments (4)
February 2, 2005
Today's entry is brought to you by the word "fuck"
I start out almost everyday in a good mood. I'm a morning person and I enjoy getting up, making my coffee, piddling around the house and getting ready for work. I enjoy getting out of work and going home fairly early and for the most part I enjoy everything right up til after dinner. At that point I crash and burn. The problem with this is that my entire family seems to be woundthefuckup by that time. Two out of three of the last nights I've screamed at them and stormed off to bed. They're either fighting or yelling or throwing shit or just being assholes at a point when I'm d-o-n-e with my day. There's got to be some sort of happy balance but right now I have no idea what it is. I woke up this morning with the realization that I probably owe my children an apology because I told them last night "ALL I WANT IS SOME FUCKING HELP AROUND HERE BUT OBVIOUSLY THAT'S TOO MUCH TO ASK". Yep, I said "fucking", no, I SCREAMED "fucking" to my kids. I guess that crosses the line of good parenting and goes right into the realm of verbal abuse but right now I could give a rats ass. I'm not going to let them destroy the house that I'm paying for them to live in. I'm not going to clean up after them so I guess the answer is that they can either do their chores willingly or they can get screamed at and cursed at until they're 18 and can move out. BLAH.
Posted by krystal at 6:56 AM | Comments (5)
January 13, 2005
Weighty issues
I joined weight watchers today. I was on the program before I reached my goal back in 2002 and quit AA for fat folks. Until I went on night shift I'd done a pretty decent job of keeping the weight off by just keeping my food intake in check. I know it's lame to blame night shift but that's when I started my slide back to the portly side of life. Then I got all content with Dan around and ate like it was my right and THEN I quit smoking and THEN the holidays came along...(I have my excuses lined up). Welp...my clothes are tight and I'm not one bit happy about that. So today I plopped my fat ass up on the scales and gave the nice lady my check. I'm back on track now. I like weight watchers because it allows me to still drink beer. The loftiest decision I have to make right now is if I want to drink fewer regular beers or more light beers or almost unlimited ultra lights. I'm pretty much a beer snob so I doubt I'll ever be satisfied w/ ultra beers. I'm going to just stick to light beer for now and maybe work myself down to ultra.
***
The job is going well. I've spent the week doing things like making reservations and getting things printed and answering emails and voice mails and shredding things (which I ADORE). I love this kind of work. I think I was born to be someone's bitch. I like my boss too. I've been working for her for a month now and she hasn't yelled at me once. Yehaw!
***
Our home has turned into a zoo. I used to say it was a zoo because everyone in the house acts a bit wild, but now it's really a zoo. In addition to our new rat, we also have a frog named Mr. Hopper. (Dennis??) We also have two goldfish, Charles and Joseph. There are cages and computers in just about every room of the house. The cat is out of sorts about this. She looked at me this morning with a disgusted look on her face that clearly read "Am I not enough for you? WHY ARE THESE ANIMALS HERE?". I feel for her, she's the only animal we've had that hasn't kicked the bucket or run away. If I see her eyeballing my suitcases I'll know I'm about to lose her. Poor Kasey.
These are the things I'm looking forward to:
Tomorrow night: Fajita night w/ Fredtalkers
All weekend: no kids, just Dan and I all alone. Yay!
Saturday: Lunch w/ the girls
Monday: nooooo work.
Oh and one more thing.
Last night in bed Dan and I were discussing how the kids don't get nearly enough spankings. We'd watched the first 5 minutes of Nannie 911 and it started us thinking about how we need to catch up on the YEARS of missing disciplinary action that Jake is entitled to. Starting tonight I'm going to beat the kids a lot. That way, by the time they get to therapy as adults they won't be able to say I was apathetic.
Posted by krystal at 1:08 PM | Comments (4)
December 20, 2004
D.A.R.E
Trevor: Papa, I won the speech contest for D.A.R.E. at our school, do you want to come and see me when I give the speech?
Papa: Sure! I'll come but I'll be drunk.
James: I'll come too, I'm gonna get high first.
Posted by krystal at 8:44 AM
December 15, 2004
Why does the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
I had my dad/daughter date with dad tonight. We got mom's shopping done toot de suite and went to Cheeseburger in Paradise to have dinner and beer. I love how we've got mom pegged. New earrings? check. Shoes? check. Something for the kitchen? check. done, let's get beer.
The kids stayed home while we went. Stacy called as I was leaving to see if her kids could come play. I told her "send em on, but I won't be here, Dominos pizza is on the way, there's plenty". So when I got home the kids had moving box forts allover the house and the pizza was gone but everyone was happy and the house was generally clean.
This weekend I'm gonna finish my shopping and wrap all of this stuff that's in the house. I love Christmas but I'm just about ready for it to be done now.
Posted by krystal at 8:18 PM | Comments (1)
November 8, 2004
Hamchovie Houdini
This week Jake's hamster, Hamchovie, was given the cage that Kendall's cannibalistic hamsters left behind when they decided to do their freaky hamster murder/suicide thing. I figured he'd like it better since it's got this little wheel sunroof thing and another sunroof feeding area. Now, Hamchovie's not much of a people-hamster. He's morbidly obese and pretty lazy. He likes eating and sleeping and not much else. In fact, if you dare to walk into the boys room and disturb his slumber, he starts screeching at you and clings to the side of his cage acting like he'd rip you to shreds if he could just get OUT of the fucking cage. He's a real gem; a great addition to our family. The other night Dan and I were listening to Hamchovie in his new cage making all sorts of noise. We giggled hysterically about how fat he is and how he's out to eat the entire family. We figured we're safe since we weren't in the room with the little darling but the boys might be gone when the morning came.
Sure enough, when the sun came up, Hamchovie was not in his cage. He'd busted out through the extra little skylight feeding area thing and was hanging out under Trevor's dresser. He wasn't very hard to catch since he's so fat, so Jake put him back in the cage and taped that skylight thing closed.
Yesterday we checked on ol Ham and he was in there, clinging to the side of his cage, screeching like a banchee and shooting little hamster eye daggers at us as we laughed at his girth. He's a turd of misery for sure.
So tonight, it wasn't his escape that shocked us. Instead, it was his condition when he was found...
Xenophod (1:14:57 AM): guess who escaped again?
Xenophod (1:14:58 AM): well
Xenophod (1:15:02 AM): you don't have to guess
Xenophod (1:15:03 AM): byt
Xenophod (1:15:04 AM): but
Xenophod (1:15:05 AM): yeah
Xenophod (1:15:11 AM): he busted out again
Xenophod (1:15:13 AM): hahaha
Xenophod (1:15:22 AM): his cheeks are STUFFED!
Xenophod (1:15:32 AM): I'm suprised Kasey didn't eat him
Xenophod (1:15:42 AM): she was playing with him though
r333th4x0r (1:17:05 AM): er
r333th4x0r (1:17:11 AM): shit
r333th4x0r (1:17:20 AM): hehe i was dozing off at my desk
r333th4x0r (1:17:26 AM): uh
r333th4x0r (1:17:28 AM): did you catch him
r333th4x0r (1:17:40 AM): i guess he has to go back to the old cage :-(
r333th4x0r (1:17:56 AM): hamster at large :-(
Xenophod (1:21:09 AM): hehehe
Xenophod (1:21:10 AM): yeah
Xenophod (1:21:12 AM): I got him
Xenophod (1:21:14 AM): he was easy
r333th4x0r (1:21:20 AM): he's too fat to run fast
r333th4x0r (1:21:20 AM): heh
r333th4x0r (1:21:35 AM): how'd he get out this time?
Xenophod (1:21:35 AM): his cheeks were too full for him to get anywhere fast
r333th4x0r (1:21:39 AM): hahahaha
Xenophod (1:21:44 AM): the door was wide open
Xenophod (1:21:46 AM): the side door
r333th4x0r (1:21:51 AM): weird
Xenophod (1:22:00 AM): he had a ton of shit
r333th4x0r (1:22:03 AM): HAHAHA
r333th4x0r (1:22:06 AM): piggy
Xenophod (1:22:11 AM): he spit out a little in the bathroom
r333th4x0r (1:22:28 AM): was it seeds n stuff or crap he'd gotten from the house?
Xenophod (1:22:30 AM): after I put him in his cage he spit the rest out
Xenophod (1:22:35 AM): well
Xenophod (1:23:05 AM): it was valentines day candy, old popcorn stuff.... kendall's beads
Xenophod (1:23:24 AM): other gross stuff he got from the floor I guess
Xenophod (1:23:31 AM): hard candy
r333th4x0r (1:23:34 AM): hahahah
Xenophod (1:23:34 AM): a mint
r333th4x0r (1:23:37 AM): HAHA
r333th4x0r (1:23:52 AM): he's very weird
r333th4x0r (1:23:52 AM): :-(
Xenophod (1:24:02 AM): I grabbed most of it from his cage, but I think there might still be some candy in there
Xenophod (1:24:13 AM): I didn't want my hand in there too ling
Xenophod (1:24:14 AM): long
r333th4x0r (1:24:23 AM): yeah you'd pull your hand out and it'd be a nub
Xenophod (1:24:30 AM): I put a baseball trophey in front of the door
Xenophod (1:24:36 AM): so he couldn't get it open
Xenophod (1:24:38 AM): I hope
r333th4x0r (1:26:06 AM): i hope you don't have hamster nightmares
Xenophod (1:26:15 AM): I'm all wigged out
r333th4x0r (1:26:32 AM): awwww
r333th4x0r (1:26:33 AM): :-(
r333th4x0r (1:26:43 AM): don't be
r333th4x0r (1:26:49 AM): it's just a rodent
r333th4x0r (1:26:50 AM): !!
Xenophod (1:27:16 AM): he was coming for me next!
r333th4x0r (1:27:22 AM): HAHAHAHA
Xenophod (1:27:36 AM): he was going to stuff me in his cheeks
r333th4x0r (1:28:12 AM): i won't let him get you.
r333th4x0r (1:28:19 AM): tomorrow I'll send him to hamster fat camp.
Xenophod (1:28:21 AM): hahaah
Xenophod (1:28:27 AM): lock down
r333th4x0r (1:28:40 AM): yep. he's going to the rock.
r333th4x0r (1:28:56 AM): although
r333th4x0r (1:29:03 AM): if we let him out once a week, i might not have to sweep as much
***
I don't think we've heard the last from this hamster...I just hope Dan's still alive when I get home from work tomorrow.
Posted by krystal at 3:39 AM | Comments (1)