January 2, 2008
Resolve - v.2008
I've been moping around all morning because today my real diet started. I've dropped 20 lbs since the baby was born but I have about 60 more to lose and I want to do it for real now that I don't have pregnancy to blame. On the bright side, since I got pregnant my blood pressure has been back to normal and I haven't gone on any happy pills yet, even though several times since the holidays I've wished I was on them.
Our Christmas break was pretty much a bag of shit, thanks to Jake. He started with wrecking our car, moved on to fucking up Christmas and then made New Years Day feel like a week. We're trying something new though. Jake wants to be treated like an adult. Dan and I have grown weary of his constant lies and bad attitude so from this point on...he's as close to adult as we can live with. He can come and go as he pleases...until 10pm. He can find his own rides to places or pay us for his gas usage and we'll drive him places if we want to. If he wants to use a phone, he can use the cell phone he pays for. If he wants to use a computer and the internet, he can purchase a computer and pay for his own internet connection. This way, he has nothing to lie to us about. If this doesn't work we're at a loss because nobody else wants him. I'm required to supply him with food and shelter, but luxuries are not required and will not be supplied. I am determined that this will not be another year wrecked by Jake. I've got 4 other kids who don't screw up and lie and treat us like crap...those are the kids who will get our time and attention. Jake is on his own...just like he wants.
I have several things aside from dieting and disowning my kids that I want to work on this year. I plan on cooking, saving money, planning a nice vacation for Dan and I without kids even if it means we're going to have to save for a few years first so we can go. The gym membership we pay for will see use this year. The kids want to go and I need to. We're going to get there. I also plan on being more social again. Last year got off to a good start then pregnancy sort of killed my desire to be social. I'm slowly feeling the need to be around friends...we will just have to find a babysitter for evenings. I trust the kids to watch Tess but Max is too little yet and I don't feel ok leaving him with anyone.
Oh, by the way...Max is delicious. He's a good baby. He sleeps 4 hours between feedings at night most of the time. He's a lot more vocal than Tessie was. (read: the kid can scream LOUD!!!). I find myself constantly smelling is baby head and playing with his toes.
And now he's awake. peas. Happy 2008.
Posted by krystal at 1:13 PM | Comments (4)
October 9, 2007
You cain't quit me. dummy.
This afternoon Jake moved back in. He brought with him all of his clothes and crap and everything smells strongly like the smoke-filled home he just left. I can say with complete honesty that I'm glad he's back. I might be an asshole for saying it, but I won. Jake needed to see that his life was pretty sweet here and he could do so.much.worse. And he did. I'm not happy that his dad's a prickasaurus-rex. I'm sorry that the kids need to learn to appreciate good things by experiencing bad ones, but eh...thems the breaks. He said he missed being around his family and he missed his friends. I'm no fool...at 16 he missed his friends.
What's weird is the way things went down. Jake called asking to move back home and I told him I'd talk to his dad. His dad went a little off the deep end when told that Jake was asking to move again, and with good reason...he was taking my ass back to court for a reduction in child support TODAY! I had no idea court was today because I never got served papers. Luckily the ex was in a rage about Jake moving back out so he told me about the court date and how he'd have to go in front of the judge and look like a fool. (not the first time, asswipe). Had Jake not called asking to come home, I would have missed my court date and looked like a bad mom. HEAVEN FORBID!!! heh Court was uneventful. The request was droppped and that was it.
Anyway, so now we're turning the sun room into a jake room...he'll be bunking with the bearded dragon, the fattail gecko, the litter box and the washer and dryer. My mama seems concerned about Jake's new room not being good enough for him, but I think it's just exactly what he should have. A bed and a book shelf and tons of family around to invade his privacy.
Unfortunately for him, the revolving door has been locked and his father no longer wants him back there. I don't know if that means visitation is out or what, but I do know that there are no more options for Jake to quit us, at least not for another year when he turns 18.
Posted by krystal at 6:40 PM | Comments (3)
November 29, 2006
Sixteen Candles
Today is Jake's big 16. He's been such a good kid this year that I dare to mention just how good. Sure, he still leaves his boxer shorts in the bathroom after he showers and he sneaks to get on the phone w/ his girlfriend at night and he has black hair hiding his beautiful blue peepers, but this kid is genuinely nice. Tomorrow he's going w/ Becky and Aaron to see My Chemical Romance. He's tickled to death that he gets to go. I'm tickled to death that he's going...uhh, not that I want to get rid of him. I do think it's pretty cool that my friends are fond enough of him to take him along. THANKS!
Pretty much everything I've learned in the 16 years I've had Jake can be said for turning 40. I've learned that things I think are huge at the moment usually just pass and do not mark the end of the world. I know that I have to be ever diligent with my kids balanced with showing patience and kindness...it's a hard mix. I hope I get it right one day. I've also learned that boxer shorts on the bathroom floor are just a sign that a teenager lives there, but it'll never stop me from bitching about it. There are some things in life I refuse to change.
Posted by krystal at 11:40 AM | Comments (2)
October 16, 2006
ha
This is jake w/ his new black hair on homecoming night. I love him because he's brave enough to leave the house looking like this.
Posted by krystal at 2:50 PM | Comments (0)
January 25, 2006
Dear Jake,
You are making me lose my mind. I can no longer sleep peacefully at night and my hair is falling out. I'm tired, cranky, rundown, sick and overly worried. It's your fault.
I'm struggling so hard with what I see as keeping you alive and what you see as me being a bitch. I want you to be happy, I want you to have fun, and I want you safe. You're not making it easy.
I know you want me to understand you, but I want you to understand me as well. When I say to you "you are the company you keep" I am not saying it because I think it's right. I'm saying it because it's true. As much as you hate it, the reputation you earn now will follow you around. I know that no matter how much I cry and lecture you, you're just going to keep trying to etch out your identity in this world. I just hope you're wise in your choices and I hope you realize that no matter where you go or what you do, I will be following you and trying to keep bad things away from you and you away from bad things.
I love you so much,
Mom
Posted by krystal at 9:51 AM | Comments (4)
November 4, 2005
steeeerike one
Jake hadn't gotten into reportable trouble at school since he incited riot with the food fight and got suspended for the last 3 days of school. He hadn't, until Wednesday.
Here's the phone call I got yesterday morning:
VP: Mrs O'Brien? This is the vice principal from Massaponax, I have Jake here.
Me: uh oh
VP: yes, we need to discuss this referral I have from Jake's Science teacher. According to Jake, he was just stressed out, I'll have to check on that, the teacher didn't mention it. According to her, Jake told another student to "shut the hell up".
Me: ooops!
VP: mmmhm, but according to Jake, that is incorrect...he says that he told the entire CLASS to "shut the hell up".
***
Jake has in school suspension and my undying pride. I'm the mom who said "tell her to eat a dick" in front of her in-laws. I'm sure the apple didn't fall far from the tree. We both need our mouths washed out with soap.
Posted by krystal at 11:34 AM | Comments (5)
October 9, 2005
Homecoming
Jake went to his first homecoming dance last night. It was his dad's weekend so I didn't get to take him or see him all dressed up like a human. I did get to buy the flowers and pay for the tickets and get him a haircut...I know it's not about me but I do feel jipped. Is that wrong?
The benefit of the "dad's weekend" thing is that Dan and I got to have the whole day together with Tess. We slept til noon, ate lunch at Applebees and then did chores around here. I should wake the baby soon or she'll be up all night.
This past week we had Dan's mom in town for a visit and it was super cool. Tess is so lucky to have 2 great sets of grandparents. Dan and I are each lucky that we have good in-laws. That doesn't always happen.
Posted by krystal at 7:22 PM | Comments (2)
June 6, 2005
It will put the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again
It seems like Jake is my favorite topic lately. He's honestly one of my favorite subjects and that's possibly because I made him, but also because he always makes me laugh...except when he's making me want to strangle him.
It was bad when the cops picked him up for skateboarding in an apartment complex and he tried to run. It was bad when he pantsed a kid at school and got suspended for 3 days. This latest trick is bad too...so please do not laugh too hard. This is SERIOUS BUSINESS!!!
Friday Jake got detention for "horseplay and flinging lotion". He came out of his locker room at gym class and flung lotion from his hands onto 2 of his friends. They started chasing him and playing around and now Jake's being sent to detention on Wednesday. When I reprimanded him and told him that he was at school to LEARN, not PLAY, he told me "it was GYM CLASS MOM!!".
I won't know what to do when he gets in trouble for a serious offense. Right now I just sit back and scratch my head. Are all boys this retarded?
Posted by krystal at 1:30 PM | Comments (4)
May 11, 2005
Eff you Kate.
I got heartbreaking news this morning.
Mrs. O'Brien,
Thank you for interest in chaperoning the 8th grade field trip. Due to
overwhelming responses, we were unable to fulfill all of the requests
for parent chaperones.
Thank you,
Geoff White
***
I had so looked forward to seeing Kiss Me Kate with Jake. We were just talking last night about how we were going to pack a huge lunch for the trip. Now I don't get to go and I'm sad. Oh well.
Posted by krystal at 9:22 AM | Comments (3)
May 4, 2005
Jake
Last night we were on our way through the drive through at Mcdonalds. Tuesdays are .99 Happy Meal night so that's where we get dinner every Tuesday even though Jake's now so grown up that he needs 3 happy meals and Trev needs 2. They still fight like 3 year olds over the toys that come with dinner though so I guess it's still a successful dinner.
We were sitting in the long line waiting to pay for our order and listening to a billboard hits cd from 1983 that Kendall swiped from Dan. Total Eclipse of the Heart came on and I said "Oh Jake, you sing the boy part, I'll be the girl!!" So we sang along, him singing "TURRRNAROUNNND BRIGHT EYES!" and me singing the "everynowandthen I fall aparrrrt!". It didn't take long for him to realize that I had more lines though and then he insisted on singing the girl part.
I thoroughly enjoyed those moments with my son and made a point to tuck them away in my memory for later. As he gets older I still love him all the time, but he's growing up and doesn't need me as much. I'm his transportation and his money source but I worry that we'll lose our special bond.
So last night Dan and I were watching tv in our room and Jake came in and explained hastily that he's got to "stay after" to work on a school project he hadn't done. Dan says "you mean detention?" Jake stammered and tried to fidget his way out of calling it "detention". I sat there a little dismayed because I thought detention was something that came with a letter from the school and a call from a teacher or something. I'd heard nothing of it. Jake finally said "yea, it's detention, sort of...it's in Mrs. Sapp's class though so I can finish my work". I signed a note allowing him to stay and didn't say much more about it. I wanted to preserve the feeling of "like" that I felt for my son earlier in the afternoon for just a few hours longer.
I'm not stupid though, this morning I emailed his teacher and I WILL get to the bottom of the detention thing. Such mixed emotions come with parenting, especially a teenager. I love him so much and I trust him so little. The key so far seems to be in finding balance and keeping our household kind and happy. This is going to be a wild ride.
Posted by krystal at 7:23 AM | Comments (2)
February 25, 2005
phone call while the kids are at home and I am at work
Jake: mom...do we have any extra money around here?
Me: no. why?
Jake: to buy pizza.
Me: no Jake, there's no money for pizza...make a grilled cheese or someth..
Jake: then how will I pay for this pizza we ordered?
Me: bye foolio.
Posted by krystal at 11:28 AM | Comments (2)
January 11, 2005
To everything turn turn turn
Yesterday our obese hamster, Hamchovie, died. He'd been with us for quite a while and was, well, extremely fat. He died in his food bowl, paying homage to his favorite pastime i guess. RIP rodent.
So then, as if the night weren't shitty enough for Jake, he woke up at 11 with a toothache. He seemed better this morning so he went on to school but I've made an appointment with a new dentist today. We have a great dentist up in Springfield but I really needed to find one closer to home. Let's hope this guy isn't a turd. I hate dentists.
Posted by krystal at 12:12 PM | Comments (8)
November 29, 2004
14 years ago
Jake was born.
He was really really cool too. I thought he was the prettiest baby ever born. My parents thought so too. Then 2 weeks later the pictures from the hospital came in the mail and we realized that he was splotchy when he was born but in the 2 weeks SINCE he was born, he'd grown to be the most handsome baby in the entire world. ever.
Now he needs a haircut and he needs to do his homework. I nag him a lot and tell him to shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh but I still love him as much as that day when I first met him and thought he was the prettiest baby ever born. Now, of course, he's the most wonderful 14 year old ever. I hope he does his homework though because tomorrow's not his birthday.
Posted by krystal at 4:43 AM
November 16, 2004
These apples are delicious
Jake got 2 D's on his report card. They were both in classes taught by Mrs. Sapp. He said to me "She hates me, that's why I got D's" I said to him "I'd feel more sympathy if you hadn't spent the last 3 years bringing home bad grades."
He says to me "she called me an idiot".
I say to him "then stop being an idiot".
I know that teachers aren't allowed to call kids idiots. I would normally rush to defend my kids. I'm not buying it though.
James is.
He informed me tonight that he's going to visit Jake's teacher to get to the bottom of that "idiot" comment. I told him "good, you go meet with her". It's not that I don't care, I just don't really see it as a huge deal. I'm more concerned that Jake doesn't show respect to his teachers and other adults in his life (including me). I hope that with James talking to the teacher and me hounding Jake for good manners, we'll get things smoothed over quickly. If not, we'll just keep trudging along. It's not like parenting gets easier or ends once an issue is resolved.
Boy, I'm tired.
Posted by krystal at 5:35 AM | Comments (1)