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August 17, 2009
support
Today I'm off of work. It would be an absolutely perfect day to be off if it weren't for the fact that I'm going to child support court. Jake graduated and James wants to cut his share. I'm not really concerned much about it. I've had my bitter thoughts about how we'll be paying for his college without James' help and we've still got Jake living with us. Hell, I don't even think he'll get much of a cut since we haven't had an increase in 10 years. I woke up this morning and buried my head deeper in my pillow because I really don't like court. After 10 years of being divorced parents, James and I get along pretty well. I still care when his family is in the hospital and he and I come together when important decisions need to be made about the kids. He isn't the most active father in the world, and never parts with a penny for them that isn't his required child support, but I do think he has tried to the best of his abilities to be there. But when we step into court, it's him vs me. I sit on one side, he sits on the other and we're on opposite teams. When we were first separated, I relied very heavily on the child support to provide for our kids. Now we're at a point where the support helps more with things that they would not have otherwise. So, I kept my eyes closed and tried to not face my day. How do you "fight" to end part of your relationship with your child? I certainly can't see that as an option, ever.
Then I started to use the one coping mechanism my mom gave me. Think happy thoughts. I'm happy that for the 10 years since we've been divorced, I've never had to fight for custody of my kids. I'm happy that I have never had to hunt down my ex for his child support...it comes right on time (thanks to css). I am thankful that Jake is 18 and alive and good. I'm thankful that even though I can't stand the thought of being married to him, my kids still like their dad most days. I am thankful that Dan is in my life and that we have Tess and Max too, even if it means I don't get every other weekend off (that really is the best part of divorce...believe it).
I'm thankful that my life is the way it is and I'll be even more thankful when court is over.
Posted by krystal at 10:17 AM | Comments (2)
August 16, 2009
love/hate
Love: TV shows on dvd such as Big Love, The Wire, Dexter, True Blood.
Hate: Cartoons. Especially ren and stempy, family guy and anything else that keeps me from watching what I want to watch.
Love: Saturday
Hate: Sunday
Love: Autumn. Hurry up.
Hate: Summer. Go away.
Love: white wine
Hate: swollen fingers. Why oh why must white wine do this to me?
Love: the way max is learning to talk and say so many things
Hate; the way max calls my name 300 times per minute.
Love: Top Chef
Hate: Top Chef Masters
Love: doing laundry
Hate: vacuuming
Love: taking pictures
Hate: seeing myself and my fat belly in pictures
Love: reading
Hate: finishing books. I also hate waiting for the book I ordered to show UP. Hurry up, amazon!
Love: facebook
Hate: editing myself because my kids and their friends are my friends.
Love: my job
Hate: dan's job
Love: Tivo
Hate: DVR
Love: knowing what I want to say
Hate: not knowing what to say and choosing to make love/hate lists instead.
Posted by krystal at 6:23 PM
August 9, 2009
dog days
For the past 2 weekends I've had tons of time to blog. We haven't gone anywhere, done anything or even had plans that we bailed on. We haven't used the pool much, but we've gone outside to clean it. Sarah came over once and Terri came over once and other than that, we've been visitorless. For me, it has signaled the end of a long good summer. We haven't had the money for a vacation because buying a house has proven to be an exspensive venture. Fortunately we've had tons of friends over and lots of occasions for congregation. Unfortunately though, I'm not a summer person. I want this heat to end. I want to drain the pool, put away the few remaining floats that the dog hasn't chewed up and move on to Autumn; my favorite of all seasons.
In fact, I'm so looking forward to Fall that I've even started thinking of Christmas season. It annoys me that I do this. I need to learn to appreciate what I have, but thanks to my mom, I don't have it in me to allow things to just happen. I MUST PREPARE. The first thing I'm looking forward to, is changing into long sleeved clothes and long pants. We're also planning on letting Wil and Gayle throw their Halloween bash here since they left all of the decorations with us. I am not a halloweenytype of person but I am very much looking forward to a party and to seeing them again.
For now though...It's about to be 100 degrees today and I'm too sticky to move. We're going to mom's for supper later and I pray she doesn't make me eat outside.
Posted by krystal at 12:09 PM