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April 29, 2008

pway with me fowwest

I'm currently studying. Scratch that, cramming for my next MCSA test. I'm going to take it Thursday and I'm not yet done covering the material. That does not mean that I won't pass, because as a rule, I don't fail these damned things. It just means that there is a better chance I could fail. And if I fail, I'll take it again. I'm determined to make more money and get my cleaning people back.

Posted by krystal at 7:27 AM | Comments (4)

April 25, 2008

Till a caiman comes along and eats me.

Today I took my sons to lunch, minus Max. He's not fond of Fosters anyway. While we were there Trevor was drawing pictures on his napkin of his new band logo. Yea...he has a band that has never practiced and knows no songs, but has a logo. Anyway..he wrote "Till November" on some banner looking thing. I said "uh, it's 'til" He said "GOD JAKE. YOU MESSED ME UP AGAIN!!'. Jake defended his choice of spelling and I told him that, duh, it's part of the word "until" and he is just a dummy.

3 hours later Jake called me from work. "Mom, I have a college professor here who says that T-I-L-L is correct." I laughed and said "what's she teach? algebra?" He said "no, wanna talk to her? and I also have a high school English teacher here who also says that T-I-L-L is correct. so ha!". I could honestly feel my chest expand with pride about my kid being interested enough in words to correct me. I'm not really all that smart but I think I know a word or two. I thought that 'til was part of the word "until". So I told Jake that I'd google it and then decide what I believe. Well...sure enough, "till" is fine. In fact, "till" has been around longer than "until". whoopsie! I swallowed a huge chunk of pride and called Jake back to tell him that he wins. Man, that hurt and felt great all at the same time.

Now lets jump ahead 2 hours. Tess is being a jerk. She just needs to go to bed but it's not dark yet. She demands "MAMA. COME READ THE DIEGO BOOK". I just want the kid to sleep so I get excited about her reading a book rather than destroying the house for a change. I said "ooh, you want me to read to you about the alligator?" She gets all indignant and teary eyed and says "NO. IT'S A CAIMAN!!!!!". ugh. I give up. I've got to expand my vocabulary, stat. How will I ever manage by the time Max can talk?

Posted by krystal at 7:32 PM | Comments (0)

April 20, 2008

I may as well call this blog "sunday"

I only sit down and write out my boring thoughts on Sundays it seems. I swear I have boring thoughts on every other day of the week as well so you guys are missing out. Some of you are not missing out because like, Becky and Terri come over every Wednesday and I share my midweek boringness with them. I'd blog those thoughts but it has become tradition to be too tipsy to remember Wednesdays anymore. I'm a loser. When I say too drunk to remember, what I mean is that I just go to sleep...and those thoughts go away. somewhere.

So anyway.

Things are boogying right along around here. Jake is getting a car. It's a cute little honda that's way too old and has way too many miles on it. But it's a honda, that's how they're sposta be. I'm seriously happy that he'll not be risking wrecking our cars anymore. It's also had him being a much nicer kid for at least the past month. I think the awakening came after he tried to lift a pair of shoes from wal*mart and they told him that he hadta pay for em. I went ahead and told them that next time they should just throw him in jail and he's been a humble bumble ever since.

***
Max has been growing insanely fast. He likes to stand up, with help. In fact, all the child wants to do is stand and it's really annoying because he's not OLD ENOUGH yet. ugh. He also likes to eat my hands while i hold him up and that's always really gross because he slobbers more than a hound dog and it's so creepy to feel baby gums on your hand so then you start to squirm and he falls and that's a whole nother bucket of apples right there. My favorite part about Max is that I can hold him up to my face and smoosh his face against mine and he smiles and I can feel his face break into a smile and it makes me smile too and then I laugh and he laughs too. And when he's laughing he's not eating my hands. He also rolls over...then bitches about it.

***

Tess is potty training and destroying shit as usual. She fell down this week and skinned her knees. Dan bandaged her up w/ gauze and tape and honest to god, the child lost the ability to walk for just about 24 hours. It's not that her legs didn't work. I'm sure if she had stood up she'd have walked but she would not. She wimpered for the first 5 hours in the fetal position and then after that Kendall put her in the umbrella stroller and pushed her around for the rest of the evening. She didn't even get up when Jake drove the stroller back to her room and left her there alone, unable to walk. I found the whole thing amusing but Kendall and Jake were highly aggitated by her and just wanted her to stop it. The next day she was still a cripple but once the bandages came off later that day she was a new woman. There's something very dramatic about this girl and I'm sure it does not come from me. *cough* dan *cough*.

***

Trevor got good grades. Because he got good grades he wants to turn into Jake and go visit friends all the time rather than do school work. Not so fast there bucko. I feel like I'm constantly complaining to him these days and he's constantly scowling. Welcome to teenager part 2. He's argumentative and lazy and smelly. Ahhhh yes. I remember this, I think I can live through it because he's worth it. If not, I'll beat him.

***

Kendall..I wonder if I'll ever get tired of brrrraaggging about her. Let me think. no.
She's got zits though, and she's bored easily. There. I said something not braggy about her. I'd say more but she's in the kitchen making cookies and that, is what makes her perfect today.

***

Dan's the bees knees still. He brought home some white boards and we nailed one to the wall in the kitchen so that we can write mean stuff about each other and alla that. I know that we don't have room in this house for anything else but we now have 3 more bookshelves (which we do really seriously need) and the white boards and a little table for Tess. We DID get rid of Edwardo this week though. He's off living with Becky and crew and she reports that he's very happy. This is good because when he lived here he was a cricket eating, do nothing, piece of shit who only turned black and puffed up when I sang to him while I did laundry. I'm glad he's found peace with those who understand bearded dragons. This brings me back to Wednesdays and things I don't remember. I woke up Thursday wondering where the stupid lizard went haha.

***

Today I marinaded some ribs and chops in my what I recollect as my dad's kickin' bbq sauce recipe which includes vinegar, lime juice (cuz i didnt have lemon) , hot sauce, peppers, onions, garlic, worchestershire sauce, and some other things I found in the cabinet. (I just realized that I never say cupboard...and I still won't since it's a cabinet). Anyway, they've been cooking in the oven for a little while on low and soon I'm gonna take them outside and cook 'em on the grill because everything's better on the grill, especially when it's raining outside and you're not expecting that wonderful aroma.

I also made homemade guacamole yesterday. It was fab if I must say. Dan loved it so I think we'll do that again. Oh also we've been eating some fresh artichokes too. I read that they're very healthy and brain smart and ALSO only 25 calories EACH. This does not, of course, count the butter I dipped mine in. ha.

***
Diet? Yeah, I'm on it. I did good 2 weeks in a row but I feel as though I've gained weight this week. Couldn't be the eating frenzy I've been on since Thursday. Oh what the hell, since last Sunday.

Oh, max is awake.
ciao.

Posted by krystal at 5:11 PM | Comments (2)

April 13, 2008

Don't Stop Believin'

Last night was the umpteenth annual Fuggettes Night Out. It was sick fun. I have more to say but right now I'm feeding my hangover and I think some potatoes are about done cooking.

Posted by krystal at 3:12 PM | Comments (2)

April 12, 2008

4 months of deliciousness

Posted by krystal at 11:12 AM | Comments (1)

April 11, 2008

A love letter from Bill Gates

Congratulations on your exam success!

Congratulations on passing Microsoft® Certification Exam 270 - Installing, Configuring, and Administering Microsoft® Windows® XP Professional. Your exam results have been received by Microsoft and your records are currently being updated to reflect this information. This exam will be associated with Microsoft Certification ID 6156422. To ensure you receive credit for all your exams, please use this ID number when you register and take future exams.

If this is the first exam you have taken, you will also receive an E-mail containing instructions for accessing the Microsoft Certified Professional Web site using your Microsoft Certification ID.

Before you take your next exam, you may want to take advantage of the Second Shot offer, which provides a free retake on any Microsoft IT Professional, Developer, or Microsoft Dynamics certification exam. Simply sign up for Second Shot before you take your next exam, provide your exam voucher number when you register for your exam, and you will have the benefit of a free retake if you do not pass. This offer is available from September 15, 2007 through June 30, 2008, and signing up is free. Remember, you must sign up before taking your exam to qualify for the free retake on the same exam. For more information, and to sign up, visit the Second Shot offer Web page.

See the right side of this email for links to targeted exam preparation resources, certification information sources and MCP community information.

Again, congratulations on passing your recent Microsoft Certification exam. You'll enjoy the greater confidence that this widely-recognized validation of your skills on Microsoft technology will help to inspire in you, your employer and your colleagues.

The Microsoft Certification Program Team

Posted by krystal at 6:59 PM | Comments (3)

April 6, 2008

Sunday, Bloody(mary) Sunday.

It started at 12:30. That is when I decided I'd studied enough to start drinking. I hadn't had a bloody mary since back when we had non-drinking supper club at the mormons' house and I decided to start predrinking (at 11 that day). It had been so long that Dan forgot how to make my drink. I sighed heavily as I reminded him how I like them. He's in the kitchen now fixing my 3rd one and I believe he's gotten the hang of it now! Delish.

We've had a really nice weekend. I decided Friday that I will take my MCP exam on Wednesday. I scheduled it and paid for it in advance so there's no backing down now. I feel 80% prepared but I'll spend the next 2 days studying in my every spare moment because once I get my MCSA (2 more tests after this one), I will get a nice big fat raise and without that raise we can't afford my beloved cleaning ladies. So I have goals. I have inspiration and I have vodka. What more can a girl need? I fret endlessly when facing a test so I'm sure my bowels will be all aquiver for the next few days and I'll probably be mean to people around me. Sorry in advance. I just don't fail well...who does, right? At the end of this rainbow is girls night out. I can.not.wait. I really really really love this night once a year. We've planned it well too, there are no last minute worries about filling the HUMMER LIMO and I've even bought my beer for the road already. Woohoo! It's gonna be so fun. While we're out, the guys will be playing at my house with whichever kids of mine are still around. I believe Dan will just have Tess and Max and Kendall, as Jake and Trevor are leaving for Bugs Island for their yearly guys fishing trip. Dan will have his hands full and that'll keep him sober enough to be my DD at the end of the night.

***

At this very moment it'd be hard to say who is being the baddest kid in the house. I'd vote for Tess and I'm sure Dan would vote for Jake. Let me make my case though. Just this week she's filled the toilet with beanie babies, destroyed her room within 10 minutes of Kendall cleaning it, emptied the salt and pepper shakers allover the living room floor, used the word "boogers" at least 100 times, woken up during the night 5 out of 7 days, screamed violently everytime she poops and for the 2 hours prior to pooping (she has poop issues like her mom i guess?) and is just an all around TURD. As for Jake...well, he smokes. What's one more thing to add to the "why jake's a shitwad" list. At least he's friendly and well behaved these days.

***
Max turns 4 months old this week. He's growing up way way way too fast. He laughs all the time and he rolls over now. I need to update his baby book which has been severely neglected so I guess this is a good place to write his milestones so I can go back and see what I've forgotten. He sleeps around 6-7 hours straight and is a really really good boy. He reminds me a lot of Trevor as a baby because he is very cuddly and easy to hold, but his personality is a lot like Jake's was when he was a baby. I can't wait to see how he turns out.

***

Diet-wise I'm doing ok. I've been trying my damndest to make healthy wise choices. I have tons of weight to shed still but I'm viewing this as a lifelong project. I have not *NOT* NOTnotnot exercised at all. I suck there.

***

Oh yea...right now, the joy of my life is that the writers strike is over and our shows are starting to come back on. I can't wait to finally see 24, Grey's Anatomy, Bones and House though...where the hell are they? We're also netflixing The Wire...starting with season 1. Love it.

I think that's it for now.

peas.

Posted by krystal at 3:22 PM | Comments (1)